Her Handsome Hero
by randomdork11
Summary: Belle and Rumpelstiltskin have a much needed heart to heart in the Underworld.


_A/N: I was going through some files on my computer and found this story that I wrote a while back. I'd forgotten that this even existed until now. I read through and fixed a few things, but it's still a bit rough around the edges. Obviously, I'm still on this long Once kick so I hope you guys enjoy._

"Just to save me," Rumpelstiltskin repeated her words, his tone heavy, "well I'll try not to be such a burden from now on."

The words were full of venom, yet she sensed that much of that was directed at himself instead of towards her. She'd seen the pain flash his face as she'd let the awful words slip, but it was his tone that cooled her anger. "I didn't mean that you're a burden," she replied as she moved closer to the counter he stood behind.

"How else should I take that?" her (ex?) husband asked softly. Rumpelstiltskin looked down at the book he'd been pouring over when Belle had entered the shop. The venom was gone now, replaced by thinly veiled heartbreak. No one else would have noticed the undertones in his voice or how the set of his shoulders indicated that he was bracing himself for something worse, but she knew him well enough by now.

It had taken her most of their relationship to decipher his moods and his body language. Obviously, such things were very different from the flamboyant imp she'd first met. However, the longer she'd studied him the more connections she found between the two masks.

"I'm sorry, I just…" Belle paused unsure of what to say, "I don't know Rumple. I am sorry that was uncalled for."

"It's true," his voice was barely a whisper. "Belle, I should never have allowed you to be in such a position, should never have pushed myself back into your life."

"Rumple-" she protested, but he cut her off.

"That day in the shop, when you came back, I should have told you everything at once. I should have told you what I was again. But you came back, and I was too much of a coward to tell you that I didn't deserve your forgiveness. That I wasn't worth coming back to."

And just like that her heart broke for the infuriating man in front of her. She tried to remain strong as her resolve began to crumble, but how could she continue taking out her anger on him when he was so obviously broken. He'd hurt her and broken her trust, but she'd never sat back to consider how much she'd hurt him as well. But more importantly another question shoved its way to the forefront of her mind. A question she probably should have considered before walking away from him yet again. "Why did you become the Dark One again?"

Rumpelstiltskin was quiet for so long that the beauty believed he would refuse to be honest with her once more, but then, "What was there to lose?" he whispered, his eyes fixed on the table not daring to look up at her. "You made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. Bae…" he took a deep shuddering breath before continuing in a less painful vein. "For so many years, centuries really, all I had was my magic and those dark voices whispering in my head. They drove me crazy, but… but at least I wasn't alone."

Belle didn't know how to respond to that. She'd believed it was about power and control, and maybe it was, but more than that he'd been afraid of being alone. And yet, "But you weren't alone," that statement seemed to take him by surprise. "You had the Charmings, Regina, Henry even. All of Storybrooke-"

His dark laughter cut her short. Her husband's eyes grew dark as he finally looked up at her. "The heroes you mean," he sneered in the manner that only Rumpelstiltskin could. She nodded, and he continued. "The heroes who left me to rot in Zelena's cage, the ones who celebrated you for forcing me out of Storybrooke, who refused to help me when Emma kidnapped me. Those heroes?"

Belle had rarely heard such contempt and pure hatred color his tone before. That spurned her anger once more even as she realized that there was some truth to his accusations. "Rumple you can't blame them for not trusting you when you act against them at every opportunity."

"And why exactly should I help them? They don't see me as anything more than a monster Belle. They were eager enough to help me when I was useful and had information about Hook and the other Dark Ones. But at any other opportunity they'd let me rot."

"That's not true," but even she could hear the weakness in her argument.

"Not true. Are you sure?" Rumpelstiltskin asked as he raised his hand in agitation and began listing their transgressions. "Let's count it off, shall we? When I helped Ms. Swan get the pirate back, she informed Milah that she'd had a conversation with my son. Something she didn't share with me, despite knowing what Bae's fate meant to me. Ms. Swan also blackmailed me into coming on this little trip and I'm quite certain that she blames me for the pirate's death. Although how that's my fault, I've yet to figure out." He ticked off his fingers as he continued his diatribe against the heroes.

"But let's not just deal with the Savior, how about the pirate himself. The man who tried to kill me as soon as his memories of being a Dark One were restored. A man who turned on everyone around him without a second thought. I've been the Dark One for a while, I know how difficult it is to shut those voices out. But I never turned on Bae that way. I never spoke to him in hatred or violence. I scared him certainly, but I managed to keep myself in check with him. I may have made mistakes with my boy, but that was my cowardice not the darkness. Or how about the captain's stay of execution on me after I saved him. All because I 'took away his sacrifice.'"

Belle had to cut in here, "Rumple you did take away his sacrifice."

"The sacrifice he made after condemning everyone to the Underworld. A sacrifice that wouldn't have been necessary if he hadn't given into the darkness so easily and so completely. I lived with that curse for centuries and never once did I give in to Nimue's plans. I knew the dangers of bringing back all the Dark One's. But you're right perhaps I'm being unfair to the pirate. He was under a curse. And his hatred of me is certainly warranted. I endangered the first woman he's loved since Milah. It's not like he would ever do something as heinous as that. Oh wait," sarcasm dripped from her husband's voice as he scoffed the pirate. "But then I guess I did kill the woman he stole from me, so somewhere in there he apparently takes the moral high ground."

"Shall I continue? What about Regina stealing your heart and forcing you to hurt me? Or her decision to take my dagger when I tried killing Zelena? If it had been Henry who died at the witch's hand, how long do you think it would have taken Regina to end her sister? If it had been her or her new lover trapped in cage for a year, forced to endure the whims of a madwoman, how would Regina or any of the heroes have reacted? But because it's me, the town monster, it doesn't matter.

"Rumple," she asserted "if you just tried to be better. If you could just be selfless for once in your life."

"I tried to be better Belle, I really did. It isn't worth it," her husband countered vehemently. "I've been selfless. I tried the whole hero act and all it got me was more pain. And despite everything, it wasn't enough to make you love me."

"When have you ever…" The beauty began hotly but trailed off as she remembered watching her True Love sacrifice himself to kill his father. Then back in the Enchanted Forest he'd given up his dagger in a desperate attempt to keep Baelfire alive for a little longer. The more she thought, the more she remembered little moments of selflessness on his part.

When she'd first gotten out of the asylum, he'd helped her through countless nightmares. He'd given her a place to stay and then when she'd asked for space he'd backed off. He'd saved her from her father's intrusion into her life, given her the keys to the town library because he wanted her to be happy, helped her after she'd lost her memories, and then did everything in his power to get them back for her. Even when that meant leaving her when she'd been frightened. Then there had been that phone call when he'd been dying from one of Hook's attempts at revenge. Or his decision to work with Will Scarlet to retrieve her heart and then his decision to return it no strings attached. Here recently he'd faced a bear to save her and then had turned around and fought Hook in the most honorable way he knew how.

Maybe she hadn't been fair to him. He'd broken her trust, but perhaps she'd broken his as well. She'd used the dagger on him now three separate times, knowing that it disturbed him deeply when she did. At the well, he'd been so excited when she showed up and then she'd crushed his hope along with his heart. Might there have been a better way to tell him she needed more time? It was no wonder he went back to the darkness. He'd had no one then. It didn't matter that the heroes he was decrying probably didn't see him in as bad a light as he was painting, it's how he saw it. Arguing about the truth wouldn't help his insecurities.

"I'm sorry," she breathed feeling tears fill her eyes.

That seemed to stem his anger as well, "Belle you have nothing to apologize for."

But she shook her head, "Yes I do. I've forgotten how far you've come. After I found the gauntlet and uncovered your lies, I, I was so angry."

"Rightfully so. I should never have lied to you, but I was, well scared."

"Of being controlled again?"

Rumpelstiltskin nodded ever so slightly. "And of you thinking I'm weak. After Zelena and everything she forced me to do…" he stopped there as the past accosted him. Memories of unwanted hands touching him made his hands start shaking before he forced the thoughts away. He changed topics, choosing to stay away from talking about Zelena. "The gauntlet. I need to explain."

Belle cut him off before he could, "You don't have to explain. I'm starting to understand why you love your power and- "

"Belle please," the Dark One interrupted. "The gauntlet leads you to a person's greatest weakness which in most cases is the thing they love most. In most cases. For me it's a bit more complicated. I do love the power the dagger gives me, but it's my greatest weakness because of the control it holds over my soul. Not because it's my greatest weakness," there were tears in his eyes as well at this point. "You could never be my weakness Belle."

Belle felt it as her heart crumpled into tiny shards. It had hurt so damn much when she found the fake dagger. Yes because of the lies, but more importantly because she believed that Rumpelstiltskin's love for her wasn't true. He'd told her so many years ago that his power meant more to him than she did and like it or not those words had remained with her. But now, now she understood.

"Belle," he whispered her name so softly she almost missed it, but the yearning in his voice was prevalent. A hesitant hand reached out to her cheek to catch the tears falling there.

What had they done to one another?

Neither of them ever knew who moved first, but the next moment they'd collapsed into each other's arms. Holding on to one another as if they were the only things that truly existed in this horrifying realm.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," Rumple was whispering in her ear as he planted kiss after kiss on top of her head.

"I'm sorry too, I didn't realize-" Belle never finished her apology because suddenly their lips met in a kiss that said more than she ever could.

They were both hurting so much, and they'd hurt each other in so many ways, but now maybe they could meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe she could listen to him when he explained to her possible ways to turn the darkness towards light. Perhaps he would listen to her counsel and trust her enough to be honest. One conversation couldn't fix the gaping chasm between them, but hopefully it could be a start.

After all True Love had to be fight for. All they had to do was decide that the fight was worth it.

 _A/N: Thanks for reading and sorry about the hero hate. I love the heroes on the show, especially my home girl Regina, but apparently back in season 5 I had some serious issues to work out with them. Ah well. See you guys next time around._


End file.
